I really like seeing inside her head: she's so practical, very much an officer and the kind of person you'd want to have as a neighbor -- very considerate of her muggle neighbors, which feels right to me (though, of course, what we see of her in canon is virtually nil, so the impressions I have of her are mostly from, well, this.)

The end really caught in my throat, if that makes sense.

He hadn't blocked until almost five syllables in,

That made me wince.

Good job.