It reads really well, going backwards and forwards in time, with Atia's contradictions, ambiguities and strengths in constant fluctuation and struggle.
The flashbacks work really well, and so do Octavia's and Octavian's representations through Atia's eyes - partial and flawed, but so are they, and so is she.
I also thought Atia's view of Agrippa was interesting - she sees him as someone who betrays love for power, not as someone who gives up love for duty. Duty is obviously a notion totally alien to Atia, and you show this with clever understatement.
Two brief niggles. I agree with the previous poster that the Shakespeare quotes are a little disruptive. Your story is strong enough to stand by itself. I also find the title (in contemporary Italian rather than Latin or English) confusing. If (like me) you have blurred memories of cases and declensions, maybe it would have been better to find a friend who knows her Latin letters, or to find an English title.
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Date: 2007-10-17 11:22 pm (UTC)The flashbacks work really well, and so do Octavia's and Octavian's representations through Atia's eyes - partial and flawed, but so are they, and so is she.
I also thought Atia's view of Agrippa was interesting - she sees him as someone who betrays love for power, not as someone who gives up love for duty. Duty is obviously a notion totally alien to Atia, and you show this with clever understatement.
Two brief niggles. I agree with the previous poster that the Shakespeare quotes are a little disruptive. Your story is strong enough to stand by itself. I also find the title (in contemporary Italian rather than Latin or English) confusing. If (like me) you have blurred memories of cases and declensions, maybe it would have been better to find a friend who knows her Latin letters, or to find an English title.