femgenficathon

Title: Journey On
Author:

laurus_nobilis
Fandom: Avatar: the Last Airbender
Rating: G
Warnings: None
Prompt: For the sense of smell, almost more than any other, has the power to recall memories and it is a pity that we use it so little. -- Rachel Carson.
Summary: Kanna won't let anyone decide her future for her.
Author's Notes: This story is SPOILER FREE for the finale. The only spoilers are for the end of Season 1.

Journey On

Kanna had a plan. She had been thinking about it ever since the moment she heard about her engagement; she had made sure that all the details were taken into account and nothing, absolutely nothing, could go wrong. She was much too aware of the importance of her decision. Her future happiness depended on this. The time to put it in action was close now, and she wouldn’t let anything ruin her chance.

Every night, after her parents fell asleep, she sneaked out and rowed through the canals for a few hours. She took a different boat every time, so that she could test them. It was very important to choose the right one when the moment came. It could be quite dangerous otherwise… Slowly and carefully, taking all the necessary precautions not to be seen, Kanna made her way through the city. Every time, she returned home a little less tired. This was proving to be a good practice, too. She would need it.

No one suspected her, she was sure of that. She still got enough hours of sleep so she wouldn’t give herself away by being too tired. She complained about her arranged marriage just as much and just as strongly as the very first day, and she was as cold to Pakku as ever, even after she started feeling a little sorry for him. He wasn’t a bad man, not at all. But she didn’t love him, and that would not change.

She had to go on with her plan, as she had decided long ago. If she left, she would hurt him, but he’d surely recover with time. If she stayed, on the other hand, she’d be trapped for the rest of her life. Even knowing that, it was a difficult choice – she’d miss her family, her friends. But she knew, deep down, that if she didn’t do this she’d miss her freedom so much more than she could ever miss anyone.

The night before her wedding day, she placed all of her possessions in the boat she’d chosen and rowed away from the city. She moved across the darkest paths, where the Waterbender guards could not see her, and when she reached the outer ice wall she climbed across it to face the wild, open sea. By the time they noticed her absence the following morning, she’d already be far away.

Relieved at the success of this first stage, Kanna sighed quietly, releasing the air she’d been holding back, and unconsciously took a hand to her throat. Pakku’s necklace was there, cold in the night air. She had considered leaving it behind, but in the end she decided to keep it as a reminder, not of the man who had given it to her, but of the reason why she had decided to leave.

* * *

The ocean was vast, much, much wider then she could have imagined. Kanna was prepared for this journey. She had copied all the navigation charts she could find. She had heard the sailors talk about their travels, about time and distances and safe havens, and took careful note of every little detail. She had brought enough food, water, warm clothes, and anything else she could need. But nothing could have prepared her for the sheer loneliness of those days, all by herself in her boat, with no other company than the waves. It felt as if the sea would never end.

And still, she never hesitated, never thought of turning around and returning home. Not even once. No matter how large it seemed, the ocean would end at some point. This she knew. Her marriage, on the other hand, would last for all of her life. It was an easy choice. She’d much rather brave the sea.

Eventually, the ocean reached its limits. Kanna wasn’t ashamed to break into tears when she saw land, at long last, after all those cold and lonely days. It was nothing but a dark blur in the horizon; but it was visible, and reachable, and a new hope. She rowed with a new determination, grateful for having made sure that the food and water had lasted this long, for not giving up, for not deciding that it was easier to just go back.

The boat finally touched the sand of the shore. She would have wanted to jump up and run, but wasn’t entirely confident that she could do so without falling flat on her face, after all this time in the sea. Instead, she stood up carefully and stepped on the cold sand, slow and steady.

It would be nice to finally sleep on land again. Kanna didn’t waste time; she knew that, if she took a rest now, she’d find it even harder to do everything necessary later. Before she let herself relax, she lit a fire, put up her tent, and prepared something to eat. Only then did she sit down and rest without worries.

She was in the Earth Kingdom, now. It was strange to think about that… She truly had left her nation. Being here, on this foreign land, made it feel more real. Where would she go now? She hadn’t really decided on her final destination…

Then again, she mused, as she started to fall asleep, it didn’t matter. She was free to go wherever she wished.

* * *

Walking was difficult after so many days in the sea. If she wanted to get anywhere, she’d have to get used to it again. Kanna did her best to train herself, walking a little more every day, rowing a little less. She stayed on the beach, so she could keep the boat and everything in it floating near her, dragging it with a stretch of rope. Only once in a while, when she heard voices nearby or saw the smoke coming from some town, she hid the boat and her possessions well and left for a few hours to get some food and perhaps somewhere more comfortable to sleep. She soon learned how to tell apart the smoke that came from a village from the one caused by Fire Nation soldiers – it involved a few narrow escapes, but she learned her lesson.

She didn’t stay in the same place for long. The people she met were nice enough, but nothing made her want to stop traveling, not yet. There was nothing that made her want to stay. She spent one or two days in each town, doing small works until she made enough money for food and shelter, and then she bought some food to take with her and moved on.

Slowly, however, she found herself returning less and less to the beach. Once she got used to meeting people and making friends, even if she only stayed with them for a short while, the seashore became lonely. Kanna found herself spending more time inland, even staying for several days in a single town. After a while, she decided that it was time to stop fooling herself. She looked over her possessions, discarded everything that wasn’t absolutely necessary, and abandoned her boat on the shore. From that moment on, she would travel only by land.

She continued her journey across the Earth Kingdom, still without a defined idea of where she was going. She figured it wasn’t really important. All she wanted was to see new places, meet new people; if she ever wanted to stay somewhere, she would. There was no need to decide it beforehand. She traveled from town to town, using her skills to earn money, and learning new ones as she went. It didn’t matter to her what she was working on, as long as it gave her enough money to eat. She could be cooking and cleaning one day, and helping rebuild a whole village the next one.

When her travels stopped, it was unexpected and unplanned. The only thing she was supposed to do was to help a group of fishermen repair their boat’s sail; but soon enough, they discovered that she could do much more than that. Kanna wasn’t a Waterbender, but she did have an affinity with water, far stronger than what these Earth-based people could imagine. The little bits of advice she’d given them as she worked proved useful and, when they returned from their following trip, they offered to take her with them from then on.

Kanna didn’t think of it twice. The fishermen were friendly, the pay was good, and it was a kind of work that she enjoyed. From then on, she started joining them in each one of their trips.

Weeks and then months passed by like this, as she sailed away with the fishermen and became one more among them. Even though she could not control the sea, she understood it; she knew how to work with it and not against it. They did better than ever while she was around, and she taught them many new and useful tricks. She truly liked this life; being appreciated for her own talent was new to her, after all, and she enjoyed it greatly.

One day, however, when they were returning to the shore, a cold gush of wind hit her straight on the face. It was the same wind she’d felt every day, of course, and she thought it was a little silly to think it was any different; but in a way, it was. Or perhaps Kanna herself was different. She wasn’t sure. All she knew was that the wind smelled like salt and ice and the open sea, and that, when it touched her, she knew in her heart that her journey was not over yet.

She couldn’t stay in the Earth Kingdom. Not forever. She belonged with the Water Tribe, and her home was the Pole.

* * *

It was hard to say goodbye, this time; she had grown far more used to this town than to the previous ones, and she’d got to know its people better. But that didn’t hold her back. This was a nice place, yes, but it was not her place. Nothing could keep her where she didn’t belong; she had proved herself that already. She made sure she had everything she needed, promised to write to her closest friends, and traveled south.

Soon enough, all her doubts left her. She knew she was doing the right thing, because she felt happy about it. This time, she wasn’t running from anything; she was running towards her goal. The mere thought of finally getting to know the people from the Southern Water Tribe filled her with joy. They were her people, and yet not; they would give her a new beginning, but she wouldn’t be out of place.

It wasn’t a short journey at all, and there were still many towns and cities that Kanna had to visit and then leave. Traveling by land was much safer at this point, so she went as far south as she could before she set out to sail again. In the last village she reached, barely a handful of tiny houses, she worked for a couple of days until she made enough money to buy all the materials needed; then she built herself a small boat, and started the very last stage of her trip.

The sea and the cold were like old friends, welcoming her home after a long absence. Even though she’d spent many months sailing, back north with the fishermen, this time it was different. This sea, this cold, belonged to the Pole. It didn’t take her long to see the white mass of ice that would become her new home.

Finding people there, however, wasn’t as easy as she had imagined. The Southern Water Tribe was much smaller than its Northern counterpart, and it had suffered greatly because of the Fire Nation’s attacks. It took some time until she finally saw a column of smoke in the distance; then she found the ships, not many, but strong and familiar. A group of soldiers spotted her tiny boat and signaled for her to come on board.

They received her with surprise; in the distance, they’d thought she was one of their own tribe. No one had traveled from the North Pole in many years, much less a single person in a little boat like hers. They asked her, amazed, why she had decided to undertake such a journey.

Kanna had a whole story prepared for that moment, a thought-out tale that explained how a young woman had ended up without a husband and on the other side of the world. She’d hoped with all her might that, once the people from the Southern Tribe heard it, they’d take her in without asking many more questions. It had never crossed her mind to admit that she’d been escaping from marriage.

But now, when the time came, she hesitated. She saw that there were both men and women among the soldiers. She noticed that her engagement necklace was the only one in sight. And she changed her mind.

Because I wanted to, she answered, and it was the truth.