![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
lareinenoire.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
femgenficathonTitle: Putting Away Childish Things
Author: La Reine Noire
Rating: PG13
Warnings: Mild language.
Prompt: No. 9: 'I ought to deplore what we did--but I sigh only for what we have lost.' --Héloïse, in a letter to Abélard.
Summary: Andromeda Tonks reflects, as she visits her family's home for the final time.
Disclaimer: I'm just playing. Characters, et al, belong to JKR. Please don't sue me.
Betas: Many many thanks to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
adelynne and rosamund for the quick betas.
Word Count: 1470
NB: Written for the![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
femgenficathon. Although most of this was written out after HBP, it was conceived beforehand, so Andromeda is the eldest of the three sisters for the purposes of this story. Massive apologies for the lateness. For some reason, it simply did not wish to leave my brain.
"Are you absolutely sure you want to do this?" Deep brown eyes peered into hers, visibly worried. "Rom, I don't like it."
"Which is why you and Nymphadora will stay behind," she replied firmly. "They won't harm me. Kinslaying is...not recommended."
"If that was meant to reassure me, Andromeda..."
"Ted, I promise you nothing will happen. I have the right to be there. Uncle Arcturus was..." She trailed off. "We were close, once."
They had all loved him, with his ready smile and infectious laughter. Sirius was so like him--Sirius, whom she had not seen since he and James Potter had shown up on her front door during summer holidays. There had even been a time when Andromeda had thought he might understand, and had asked him softly probing questions about Muggles and Muggle-born wizards, and precisely why blood purity was so important.
"Muggles do not trust us, my dear. Our own ancestors were burnt at the stake for trying to help them! Can you possibly imagine a world where Muggles would allow us to live in peace?"
She had wanted to believe him. Every ounce of family loyalty--and she was a Black, after all--demanded that she believe him. And yet, somehow, the boundaries no longer held themselves upright of their own accord.
In the end, it came down to a choice, painful in its very simplicity.
***
"Blood traitor!"
Andromeda closed her eyes.
"Filthy whore! How dare you befoul my husband's memory with your presence? Get out!"
"He was my uncle. I loved him." She swallowed before repeating almost verbatim what she had said to her husband. "I have a right to be here."
"You forfeited that right two years ago." There was no softness in the woman standing before her, clad in black from head to toe. The only glint of jewellery was the wedding ring on her left hand, a serpent coiled around an emerald. It had been in the family for more generations than anyone cared to count. "I told you to leave this place. You are nothing to me, and nothing to him. You bring shame upon this house by even daring to enter. Now go!"
Andromeda looked around the room, at the faces, all averted from her. She knew them all, had known them all since she was a child. Only one person looked directly at her, through eyes dark and fathomless, ringed with spiky black lashes. A smirk tugged at red-painted lips.
She could not remember when her little sister became this unrecognisable creature. Bella had always been the wild one, the despair of their mother, and openly adored by her two young cousins. Somewhere in the back of Andromeda's memory, Bella chased Sirius down an endless corridor in Cornwall until he turned, laughing as the bat ears given him flapped, to taunt her. You can do better than that!
"Did you hear me, girl?" Lavinia Black's voice cut into her thoughts, and Andromeda forced herself back to the moment.
Just 'girl' now. She no longer even had a name, as far as they were concerned. Just a string of insults, or--possibly even worse--silence. Her mother hadn't spoken a word, even as her aunt screamed and ranted. She merely stared at the ground as if riveted by it, unable or unwilling to look up. Andromeda had been her favourite, she knew.
Sirius seemed on the verge of argument, stalled only by eleven-year-old Regulus clinging to his arm, long-lashed eyes wide and pleading. Don't cause trouble. Please. Not now. Not here. Andromeda smiled, bitterly. He was lucky to be the younger child. The weight of his mother's expectations would have crushed him otherwise. Sirius studied him with visible contempt, but held his peace after he met Andromeda's eyes and heeded her silent warning.
"I asked you if you heard me."
The Minister for Magic can probably hear you from here, Auntie dearest. Instead of saying precisely what was on her mind, Andromeda replied with perfect civility, "Clear as glass, Aunt Lavinia."
Instead of moving, however, she turned her head, eyes lingering on the final member of the mourning Black family. Not even a glance in my direction, 'Cissa?
But no, Narcissa raised her head, her beautiful face devoid of expression. It was the dark smudges beneath her eyes that gave Andromeda pause, and the tight clasp of her gloved hands in front of her. For a second, their gazes met, and Andromeda could have sworn she saw hurt flash across her sister's face.
That nearly broke her resolve, then and there. Nobody could doubt Bella's position as the queen of the household, by virtue of her temper and stubbornness. Narcissa, more often than not, went almost completely unnoticed, a quiet presence in the shadows. When Bella was displeased, the world heard chapter and verse. Narcissa simply told Andromeda once, and left it at that.
Beside her stood Lucius. They did not touch, though they were standing close enough together that the flowing sleeves of their robes brushed lazily against one another. It had been Andromeda, the favoured eldest, who was originally intended for Lucius. But when it was made abundantly clear where his preferences lay, her mother had sighed and agreed.
Though she did not say it aloud, he flinched slightly as her eyes met his. Regardless of what Aunt Lavinia says, I am still a Black. I am still her sister, and if you put so much as a toe out of line, you will regret it. She had heard the stories, that Lucius had taken up with that powerful Dark wizard whose name most feared to speak aloud. Rumours, again. With him, it was difficult to tell where rumour ended and truth began. But he loved her. That much was certain. Andromeda stepped back slightly, unwilling to be satisfied by that, but aware that it was her only choice in the matter.
All else, as Aunt Lavinia had pointed out, was forfeit.
"If it's so very clear why don't you get ou--"
"She has a name, Lavinia." At the voice, Andromeda's eyes widened. Rising from the front row, Alphard Black addressed his sister-in-law with quiet dignity. "It is you who dishonour the family with this behaviour." Then, with some gentleness, he added, "You're grieving, Lavinia. I understand that, but so are we all. You must not do this."
"She made her choice." Each word was clipped, sharp as cut glass. "She knew the consequences."
"And I am telling you, Lavinia, as head of this family, that Andromeda is still a Black, and she shall remain. What would Arcturus say if he heard you?"
"Nothing." Andromeda's response shocked even her at first, and her aunt and uncle turned to look at her. "That was what he said to me, and to her. She's right. I made my choice. And if you wish to condemn me for it, Aunt Lavinia, then so be it. What I do wish to point out, however, is that you did the same thing, years ago. You fell in love. Your choice just happened to be the appropriate one."
"Because I had self-control," snapped Aunt Lavinia. "Eleanor spoiled you, and this is the result." At that, her mother winced visibly. "Family--bloodline--is what matters. You were a Black once, and proud of it. A pity you chose wrongly."
"Thank you for that enlightening speech, Aunt Lavinia." Andromeda raised her chin. "I merely came here to pay my respects."
Bypassing her furious aunt, she stood for several seconds in front of the open coffin where her uncle lay. The last time she had seen him was nearly two years before, on that day in February when the icy wind whistled shrilly between the gables of Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place, and chilled the metal encircling the fourth finger of her left hand. He had said nothing, even as Aunt Lavinia's curses ringed the air. Just looked at her, and the disappointment in his eyes was enough that it had taken all her willpower not to cry.
Nor did she cry now, merely murmured her farewell. There was certainly no need to draw more attention to Uncle Alphard. He’d done enough, something she signified by quickly squeezing his hand as she passed him. As she made her way back up the aisle, she could hear the whispers follow. Eldest daughter, surely you've heard of her...married a Mudblood...insupportable...well, naturally, she was cut off...would have done worse, if it had been my child...
Despite the overwhelming urge to make a snide comment in Evelyn Parkinson's direction, Andromeda forbore. Instead, she paused at the open door, not to take one last look back at the family who had chosen to ostracise her, but to take a breath of air that was no longer oppressive.
Her family was waiting.
Author: La Reine Noire
Rating: PG13
Warnings: Mild language.
Prompt: No. 9: 'I ought to deplore what we did--but I sigh only for what we have lost.' --Héloïse, in a letter to Abélard.
Summary: Andromeda Tonks reflects, as she visits her family's home for the final time.
Disclaimer: I'm just playing. Characters, et al, belong to JKR. Please don't sue me.
Betas: Many many thanks to
adelynne and rosamund for the quick betas.Word Count: 1470
NB: Written for the
femgenficathon. Although most of this was written out after HBP, it was conceived beforehand, so Andromeda is the eldest of the three sisters for the purposes of this story. Massive apologies for the lateness. For some reason, it simply did not wish to leave my brain."Are you absolutely sure you want to do this?" Deep brown eyes peered into hers, visibly worried. "Rom, I don't like it."
"Which is why you and Nymphadora will stay behind," she replied firmly. "They won't harm me. Kinslaying is...not recommended."
"If that was meant to reassure me, Andromeda..."
"Ted, I promise you nothing will happen. I have the right to be there. Uncle Arcturus was..." She trailed off. "We were close, once."
They had all loved him, with his ready smile and infectious laughter. Sirius was so like him--Sirius, whom she had not seen since he and James Potter had shown up on her front door during summer holidays. There had even been a time when Andromeda had thought he might understand, and had asked him softly probing questions about Muggles and Muggle-born wizards, and precisely why blood purity was so important.
"Muggles do not trust us, my dear. Our own ancestors were burnt at the stake for trying to help them! Can you possibly imagine a world where Muggles would allow us to live in peace?"
She had wanted to believe him. Every ounce of family loyalty--and she was a Black, after all--demanded that she believe him. And yet, somehow, the boundaries no longer held themselves upright of their own accord.
In the end, it came down to a choice, painful in its very simplicity.
"Blood traitor!"
Andromeda closed her eyes.
"Filthy whore! How dare you befoul my husband's memory with your presence? Get out!"
"He was my uncle. I loved him." She swallowed before repeating almost verbatim what she had said to her husband. "I have a right to be here."
"You forfeited that right two years ago." There was no softness in the woman standing before her, clad in black from head to toe. The only glint of jewellery was the wedding ring on her left hand, a serpent coiled around an emerald. It had been in the family for more generations than anyone cared to count. "I told you to leave this place. You are nothing to me, and nothing to him. You bring shame upon this house by even daring to enter. Now go!"
Andromeda looked around the room, at the faces, all averted from her. She knew them all, had known them all since she was a child. Only one person looked directly at her, through eyes dark and fathomless, ringed with spiky black lashes. A smirk tugged at red-painted lips.
She could not remember when her little sister became this unrecognisable creature. Bella had always been the wild one, the despair of their mother, and openly adored by her two young cousins. Somewhere in the back of Andromeda's memory, Bella chased Sirius down an endless corridor in Cornwall until he turned, laughing as the bat ears given him flapped, to taunt her. You can do better than that!
"Did you hear me, girl?" Lavinia Black's voice cut into her thoughts, and Andromeda forced herself back to the moment.
Just 'girl' now. She no longer even had a name, as far as they were concerned. Just a string of insults, or--possibly even worse--silence. Her mother hadn't spoken a word, even as her aunt screamed and ranted. She merely stared at the ground as if riveted by it, unable or unwilling to look up. Andromeda had been her favourite, she knew.
Sirius seemed on the verge of argument, stalled only by eleven-year-old Regulus clinging to his arm, long-lashed eyes wide and pleading. Don't cause trouble. Please. Not now. Not here. Andromeda smiled, bitterly. He was lucky to be the younger child. The weight of his mother's expectations would have crushed him otherwise. Sirius studied him with visible contempt, but held his peace after he met Andromeda's eyes and heeded her silent warning.
"I asked you if you heard me."
The Minister for Magic can probably hear you from here, Auntie dearest. Instead of saying precisely what was on her mind, Andromeda replied with perfect civility, "Clear as glass, Aunt Lavinia."
Instead of moving, however, she turned her head, eyes lingering on the final member of the mourning Black family. Not even a glance in my direction, 'Cissa?
But no, Narcissa raised her head, her beautiful face devoid of expression. It was the dark smudges beneath her eyes that gave Andromeda pause, and the tight clasp of her gloved hands in front of her. For a second, their gazes met, and Andromeda could have sworn she saw hurt flash across her sister's face.
That nearly broke her resolve, then and there. Nobody could doubt Bella's position as the queen of the household, by virtue of her temper and stubbornness. Narcissa, more often than not, went almost completely unnoticed, a quiet presence in the shadows. When Bella was displeased, the world heard chapter and verse. Narcissa simply told Andromeda once, and left it at that.
Beside her stood Lucius. They did not touch, though they were standing close enough together that the flowing sleeves of their robes brushed lazily against one another. It had been Andromeda, the favoured eldest, who was originally intended for Lucius. But when it was made abundantly clear where his preferences lay, her mother had sighed and agreed.
Though she did not say it aloud, he flinched slightly as her eyes met his. Regardless of what Aunt Lavinia says, I am still a Black. I am still her sister, and if you put so much as a toe out of line, you will regret it. She had heard the stories, that Lucius had taken up with that powerful Dark wizard whose name most feared to speak aloud. Rumours, again. With him, it was difficult to tell where rumour ended and truth began. But he loved her. That much was certain. Andromeda stepped back slightly, unwilling to be satisfied by that, but aware that it was her only choice in the matter.
All else, as Aunt Lavinia had pointed out, was forfeit.
"If it's so very clear why don't you get ou--"
"She has a name, Lavinia." At the voice, Andromeda's eyes widened. Rising from the front row, Alphard Black addressed his sister-in-law with quiet dignity. "It is you who dishonour the family with this behaviour." Then, with some gentleness, he added, "You're grieving, Lavinia. I understand that, but so are we all. You must not do this."
"She made her choice." Each word was clipped, sharp as cut glass. "She knew the consequences."
"And I am telling you, Lavinia, as head of this family, that Andromeda is still a Black, and she shall remain. What would Arcturus say if he heard you?"
"Nothing." Andromeda's response shocked even her at first, and her aunt and uncle turned to look at her. "That was what he said to me, and to her. She's right. I made my choice. And if you wish to condemn me for it, Aunt Lavinia, then so be it. What I do wish to point out, however, is that you did the same thing, years ago. You fell in love. Your choice just happened to be the appropriate one."
"Because I had self-control," snapped Aunt Lavinia. "Eleanor spoiled you, and this is the result." At that, her mother winced visibly. "Family--bloodline--is what matters. You were a Black once, and proud of it. A pity you chose wrongly."
"Thank you for that enlightening speech, Aunt Lavinia." Andromeda raised her chin. "I merely came here to pay my respects."
Bypassing her furious aunt, she stood for several seconds in front of the open coffin where her uncle lay. The last time she had seen him was nearly two years before, on that day in February when the icy wind whistled shrilly between the gables of Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place, and chilled the metal encircling the fourth finger of her left hand. He had said nothing, even as Aunt Lavinia's curses ringed the air. Just looked at her, and the disappointment in his eyes was enough that it had taken all her willpower not to cry.
Nor did she cry now, merely murmured her farewell. There was certainly no need to draw more attention to Uncle Alphard. He’d done enough, something she signified by quickly squeezing his hand as she passed him. As she made her way back up the aisle, she could hear the whispers follow. Eldest daughter, surely you've heard of her...married a Mudblood...insupportable...well, naturally, she was cut off...would have done worse, if it had been my child...
Despite the overwhelming urge to make a snide comment in Evelyn Parkinson's direction, Andromeda forbore. Instead, she paused at the open door, not to take one last look back at the family who had chosen to ostracise her, but to take a breath of air that was no longer oppressive.
Her family was waiting.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-08-23 09:01 pm (UTC)Out of curiosity, is there any particular reason why kinslaying is Not Recommended in your world? (Besides the obvious, of course?)
no subject
Date: 2005-08-23 09:27 pm (UTC)Well, kinslaying has the obvious stigma, but there has always seemed to me to exist some exaggerated sense of bad karma associated with it. Killing people in general is bad. Killing members of your own family appears to be somewhat worse in the heirarchical sense. My assumption was that this is not just figurative in the wizarding world, but a very literal curse that is born when the act occurs.
Which, of course, leads me to wonder if something like that may figure into the final confrontation with Voldemort (since he killed his father).
no subject
Date: 2005-08-24 03:08 pm (UTC):: nods :: I asked, because the same idea has crossed my mind (and I toyed with a Bellatrix-fic based on it, but I don't think it'll ever get written).
no subject
Date: 2005-08-24 06:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-23 11:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-24 06:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-24 06:43 am (UTC)BTW, is this linked to the BAMSR universe? It did seem to have that feel a bit.
no subject
Date: 2005-08-24 06:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-24 05:00 pm (UTC)Wonderful.
no subject
Date: 2005-08-24 06:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-24 06:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-25 05:30 am (UTC)But book six says Bella is oldest. I guess that makes Cissy youngest.
Maybe Bella and Andromeda are twins; what a twist that would be.
(just thinking out loud here)
no subject
Date: 2005-08-25 05:31 am (UTC):)
no subject
Date: 2005-08-25 05:32 am (UTC)Oh, god it's not my day today...
no subject
Date: 2005-08-24 07:03 pm (UTC)from the Fic-Exchange on FA!!
Date: 2005-10-21 04:00 pm (UTC)I also admired how it was so much more than just Andromeda paying her last respects - to me, it seemed that she was not only giving them a last chance to unbend toward her, but already knowing that was not going to be the case, she was giving herself closure, for her own peace of mind/sanity. She is well aware of being a Black, and one of those qualities is duty; just not quite the same insane duty that the majority uphold.
And let Andromeda be the eldest sister, that didn't bother me a particle even after the fact. I am glad you kept her as such, because it works well, here, with all the sisters placed where they were. Narcissa remains a cipher, and so she should be. She seemed like a dressed-up doll with unfortunately real, easily-hurt feelings, which is how I tend to think of her.
(Bella seemed like a vicious red-lipped vampire.)
I like the way Ted calls Andromeda "Rom;" it speaks volumes for the tenderness in which he views her, and how even if her family is a horror, he sees no such taint in her.
I found the "Kinslaying is not...recommended" to be quite an evil bit of foreshadowing, too.
As well, I rather liked Regulus hanging onto Sirius, for it seemed as if he still cared about his brother enough to try to keep him out of trouble - or was it just that Regulus hated all scenes impartially?
I have to quote this part as well: "The last time she had seen him was nearly two years before, on that day in February when the icy wind whistled shrilly between the gables of Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place, and chilled the metal encircling the fourth finger of her left hand." I felt that icy wind, in truth. Amazing imagery.
So, yes: extremely well-written and I'd say a necessary part of Black family lore - regardless of the age order - and yes, do post on FA.
From the fic exchange...
Date: 2005-11-18 10:58 pm (UTC)I definately like the aspect of no kinslaying allowed. That's a touch that had never occured to me.
Normally I feel pity and sorrow whenever I read a story about Andromeda, but this time I felt respect and admiration for her.
Well done, I enjoyed your story immensely.
From the Fic exchange
Date: 2005-11-28 06:02 pm (UTC)I think you've really done her justice here. The way she and Ted speak at the beginning is simple yet you can feel the tenderness between them. I love that he calls her 'Rom' that just fits.
She knew what she would face when she arrived but she handled herself with a quiet strength and dignity that her aunt unfortunately, does not share. I think that shows a great deal about Andromeda's character. Mrs Black is a horrendous woman and I think Andromeda is a far better representation of lineage and grace than her aunt in this situation.
I really like the description of her family, the family she is prepared to leave behind. Sadness at monster Bellatrix is becoming, and also at the fate of Narcissa. Sirius prepared to defend her is nice. And I love that Alphard stands for her this time and that she is allowed to pay her respects to her uncle.
The comments as she leaves are typical, and the thought My family is waiting is beautiful. Although it's sad that her family has disowned her it's nice to think that she is going from this place of judgement and hate to the place where she is truly loved. It's closure for her and I think she really need that.
Beautifully done.
Thanks for this.
Pan.
P.S. - Your chaptered fic is on my short list of must reads. I will get to it when I have time to do it justice.
Greetings from the fic-exchange
Date: 2005-11-29 02:40 am (UTC)"Regardless of what Aunt Lavinia says, I am still a Black. I am still her sister, and if you put so much as a toe out of line, you will regret it."
I think HBP suggest that there was in fact a rather close, even emotional relationship between the Black sisters, and I liked how you emphazized that part. Bella's rage as well as Cissy's silent pain are fitting, it shows that there are still a lot of emotions, despite everything that happened.
Actually, the characterizationes were what amazed me most about this fic; you manage to say incredibly much with only a few words.
"Sirius seemed on the verge of argument, stalled only by eleven-year-old Regulus clinging to his arm, long-lashed eyes wide and pleading. Don't cause trouble. Please. Not now. Not here."
Those few lines give you a good insight into Sirius and Regulus's relationship, it's a poignant take on their motivation, especially that of Regulus. 'Soft enough to believe them' springs to your mind, and your take on him adds perfectly to the few information we have about Regulus.
"Bella chased Sirius down an endless corridor in Cornwall until he turned, laughing as the bat ears given him flapped, to taunt her. You can do better than that!"
The famous line that will be his downfall. It sent shivers down my spine, really. I like your bit of foreshadowing here, the way a children's game becomes dead serious in the end.
Basically, I liked it that you don't paint a black and white picture, but that you showed that pride doesn't necessarily equal arrogance; and also that the Pureblood mania is more than just evilness, rather a deep-rooted fear one can sypathize with. I wonder though...of course there weren't many witches burnt on a stake, as they can cast a cooling charm on the flames, but I can very well see the Blacks telling such stories to promote their ideology, regardless of if it's true or not. So, you're story is definitely a thought-provoking one.
"would have done worse, if it had been my child... Despite the overwhelming urge to make a snide comment in Evelyn Parkinson's direction,..."
Honestly, I've never really cared for Pansy, but this made me think about her and what pressure she might be under. Again, few words, great effect. Kudos.
There were two things, however, that don't become clear to me... Uncle Arcturus, whom Sirius resembled so much, was he Sirius's and Regulus's father? I got the impression, but I couldn't really tell.
Then, I wondered about the title, and how exactly it relates to the story. What are the childish things to put away? Were it the last (emotional) connections to a family that cut her off, or maybe a last hope for reconsiliation? It adds a slight touch of desperation to Andromeda's general strength. Very subtle, if that's the case. Love it.
Anyway, congratulations on thought-through, thought-provoking and really well written story. Thanks for sharing it.