What Legends Do - Martha Jones (Doctor Who) - PG

[laurus-nobilis.livejournal.com]

Title: What Legends Do
Author: laurus_nobilis
Fandom: Doctor Who
Rating: PG
Warnings: Spoilers for Last of the Time Lords, and for season 3 in general
Prompt: 90. The sword of murder is not the balance of justice. Blood does not wipe out dishonor nor violence indicate possession. -- Julia Ward Howe.
Summary: They told her that she was a hero, that she was Earth's last hope.
Notes: Many thanks to katharos_8 for beta-reading!

What Legends Do

 

 

In the beginning, she ran.

She ran as fast and far as she could, away from the Doctor, from her family, from Jack. She didn't look back. It wasn't escape, she told herself, whenever she felt the urge to return and help them. She forced herself to remember that she couldn't help if she went back. She hadn't left because she was a coward; she'd left because she had no choice. She had to do this.

She had to save the world.

 

~ * ~

 

People were dying all around her and there was nothing she could do about it. This time, being a medical student didn't make any difference; the Toclafane didn't leave any wounded. They always finished their job.

She didn't let herself become desensitized to it. Her stomach grew stronger, that much was necessary. But she promised herself never to get used to it. She wouldn't let herself forget that things could be (should be) different.

Every dead body, every person crying for a loved one, became a reminder of why she was doing what she did.

 

~ * ~

 

It was never easy.

The TARDIS key hanging around her neck did help her somewhat; it protected her from her enemies, and she was aware of how important that was. But everything else, she had to do on her own.

It was her and her alone who travelled around the entire world with no one at her side. It was her who walked day and night, allowing herself no more than the strictly necessary stops for food and rest. It was her who crossed the jungle and the desert and the snow – or, sometimes, what was left of them, and the heartbreak was far worse than the hardships.

She didn't only have a mission to fulfil. She had to make people believe her story... and they had to believe a different story, too, one that allowed her to hide the real plan until the time was right. She had to meet all of these survivors, who waited for her with such hopes, and then she had to leave them again almost as soon as she had met them.

They told her that she was a hero, that she was Earth's last hope. She replied that she wasn't special and that all of the human race had to help, if they truly wanted to succeed. But deep down, in her heart of hearts, she did feel the weight of the whole world on her own shoulders.

 

~ * ~

 

She was always in a hurry, always conscious that she couldn't afford to lose one precious second. Yet, at the same time, the days seemed to go slower than ever. It was a neverending year.

She felt as if she had been walking like that, alone and in the darkness, for her entire life.

And she knew that it would be a very long time until she could truly stop.

 

~ * ~

 

Sometimes, in those rare moments when her mind wasn't focused on urgent matters, her thoughts strayed towards her family. She didn't want to imagine what they were going through.

At least they were alive. They had to be, she was sure of that. She knew that, if something had happened to them, the Master would have found a way to show her. As long as she didn't hear about them, it meant that her parents and Tish were alive.

As for Leo... it was harder. She liked to think that he was still somewhere out there, that he was smart enough to keep himself safe.

She looked for him in London and in Bristol, but she couldn't find him. She convinced herself that it didn't mean anything and that perhaps it was better this way.

 

~ * ~

 

They said she was the only one who could kill the Master. She knew that because she had helped spread that rumour herself. It was necessary; it was better if he thought that was what she was trying to do.

And yet, it always made her uncomfortable when people said it to her face. She couldn't get used to the idea that people wanted her to commit murder. Nothing could be further from the plan... and from her.

She didn't want to have to kill anyone, not even the Master. She had killed once – to save her own life, and those of others – and it was a feeling that she didn't want to repeat. It was exactly the opposite from what she had always worked for.

She was a medical student, even if that seemed to have happened so long ago now. She was supposed to preserve life. She had worked so hard all those years, because her goals were to help and to heal.

Now people wanted her to kill someone. And their eyes shone with so much hope when they said so, too.

 

~ * ~

 

She met people who were alone and scared and hopeless, who looked up to her as the one who would save them all. She wondered where she had found the strength to keep fighting for them – but it was there, somehow, and she didn't question it. It was a strange feeling, knowing that she could help others be stronger.

Where there was war and misery, she brought hope. She told everyone that they could make things better again.

She never mentioned that, if they failed, things would get even worse.

 

~ * ~

 

Long after it was over (after it never happened) she still felt as if she was saving the world. She knew she was, with every little thing she did, and she never let herself forget that.

She was strong. She was clever. She could do things that she would have never dreamed of in a million years. She had walked across the Earth, and stood against a great evil, and saved the world all on her own.

Whenever she was tired, whenever she was frustrated, she remembered that she had gotten out from far worse troubles. She never lost her confidence, because she knew exactly how to think about herself –

You are a legend, Martha Jones.

Comments

[gehayi.livejournal.com]

Oh, that's lovely. Martha is beyond wonderful. (And I think that part of her heroism is convincing others that they can be heroes too, that they can help save themselves. Good for her!)

[outofivanhoe.livejournal.com]

Brilliant! Martha's role in the last episode was so wonderful anyway, and you've described it all so beautifully here... And I love the way she thinks back to it later.

[deaka.livejournal.com]

Love this, particularly that Martha takes her accomplishment in the end and makes a decision to own it as her own, to wear it as a badge of honour and pride. Fantastic. :D